I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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