Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
