i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
