I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
