Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
