Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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