the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
