you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
