I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
