I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
