So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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