Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
