bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
