girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
