Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
