I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
So vagazzling was a success
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
