She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
