we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
