i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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