you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
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