last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
