ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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