i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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