You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
