are you still at the devil's house?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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