I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
