Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
