so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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