while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
