her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
