We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
