Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
