Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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