Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize
