Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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