I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
