you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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