then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
