quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Randomize
