My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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