the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
