Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
