Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
