i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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