it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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