I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
