what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
