i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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