i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
