Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
