Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
